Sunday, 30 March 2014
Saturday, 29 March 2014
I like all kinds of fashion even ones i could never wear. Harajuku style is one i love but know i'm too old and large to pull off. I am amazed by the amount of time and effort that goes in to some of these looks. What i like especially about the style is the playfulness of it. It's like playing dress up. The photos in this post are from pintrest, for more Japanese street style check out this site
Friday, 28 March 2014
We all want happiness in our lives but what does happiness mean. We all have different ideas of what happiness means to us, and here is mine.
My definition of happiness:
Living in a big enough house for all it's occupants, with nice decorations that i love and comfortable furniture. Having a garden i can potter about in but isn't too big as to be a burden and something i resent. Having a house full of animals and hopefully children and having strong relationships with my family and having them visit with us (sometimes, not all the time).
Having a strong relationship with G where when continue to talk about any problems that we have and work through them. Being able to travel together and apart so we can both have nice holidays. Having time to do creative things that I like and cooking as a family and then eating round a kitchen table.
Maybe this all lame but that would be my definition of a happiness.
Sunday, 23 March 2014
|With his baldy patches after being to the vet|
When we first adopted Tyrion from Cats Protection we were told they thought be had been neutered. There was no sign of his testes. There was some speculation as to whether he was a hermaphrodite as there was no sign of neutering and he was not showing any sign of maturing as a male cat. He was a question mark.
As time went on he started to become aggressive and extremely territorial. The neighbour cat would send him crazy and he was prone to attacking G and I. One such attack required me to go to hospital as my hand was so swollen. This couldn't continue.
|My swollen hand after being mauled|
Every time we had visited the vet they had said that it was extremely unusual for neither of a cats balls to have dropped and were unhappy to do exploitative surgery unless absolutely necessary. After 2 years his behaviour had become too much and they agreed to do blood tests to see if he had testosterone floating around inside him.
To get blood samples from him they needed to sedate him and during his sedation they decided to have a feel around and found his balls. They took him in for surgery that day and removed them. We had been constantly told that it was extremely unusual for neither testicle to have dropped and that it was more likely that he was already neutered or that he was a female / hermaphrodite but his behaviour led us to think he was a full blooded male cat. We aren't sure why exactly they didn't drop but G's theory is that it's because he was so malnourished and under developed.
|At 6 months|
Strangely enough the vet got a call from another vet later that week who had the same problem. Having dealt with Tyrion they were able to advise the other vet what to do, to sedate, check for balls when cat isn't squirmy, if you still can't find them do blood test. Neither had seen this before in their careers.
Since his operation he has been a lot quieter, especially at night, less aggressive, has stopped spraying, sleeps more and generally seems more contented. It is rare for neither testicle to drop but not impossible and if they are still in there they can become cancerous so it is important to get them out.
Tuesday, 18 March 2014
I think the correct term for this kind of person is "Frenemy".
I have known B for about 5/6 years and I have always known she is a loud and outspoken person. The kind of person who thinks she's being interested in you but is actually being rude and thoughtless.
Many of us have people in our lives who we think of a friends but make us feel like crap. Why do we hold on to them? I know why i do, it's because I have a need to be liked, I hate the idea of people being upset with me. I hate the thought that I have lost a friend.
I am a hoarder, a hoarder of stuff and a hoarder of people. I find it hard to let go of the things i don't need anymore. I started a process of decluttering this year, I decided that i was sick of seeing posts on facebook from people i didn't know anymore and i didn't want to be sharing my updates with these people. Some were friends from school who i hadn't seen for 15 years (god that makes me feel old) and I was regularly seeing pictures of their children which felt wrong. So, i made a decision to have a major facebook cull. I went from 118 friends to 48. I doubt most people even noticed but one person did. She emailed me and said that I was two faced and she was glad we weren't friends anymore. She was another frenemy, I hadn't seen her since high school and her posts where all about how depressed she was. I did try to help her I emailed her and tried to help her with it but she didn't want to be helped. She told me she wasn't taking her medication and when i asked why she didn't reply and continued posting about how depressed she was. She didn't want to be helped and her statuses were bringing me down, so she had to go. It wasn't personal for anyone i'd deleted.
B and i hadn't spoken for about 2/3 years. Her attitude had made me phase her out, but circumstances meant she was back in touch with me. She called to ask me for a favor and during the conversation she started asking me about my life as a catch up. This is where she offended me so much that I decided i didn't want to be her friend anymore. She asked me why I didn't have kids yet, how i should get a move on, why can't I have kids, how i should try to have my own instead of adopting. I haven't spoken to her in years and this was the first conversation we'd had. She made me feel awful. Her thoughtless comments and questions brought up a range of feelings that I thought i'd worked through and triggered my anxiety to flare up all day.
I made the decision to end it with her because of this, but how to do it? I know some people will think i was a coward for how i did it, but because of how she makes me feel and how she communicates i decided to do it via text. She shouts me down and makes me confused when i talk to her and i can't stand up to her so i knew if i spoke to her she would just make me feel worse. I was honest and told her i was upset and i didn't want to be friends because i had worked too long and hard to let anyone make me feel that way. Her reply was "what the hell is wrong with you". No apology, no lets talk about it, just "what is wrong with you".
I know B is upset because she called a mutual friend who texted me to let me know. I feel guilt for this. I hate knowing she's upset and it's because of me, but I don't want her in my life. She is blocked on my phone so she can't text or call me.
I hope this post helps someone to cut out a person who the don't need in their life.
Sunday, 16 March 2014
I have started an Inspirational Women series on this blog and on Pintrest because women are great and sometimes we forget that and try to act like men, which we suck at.
“I’m neither ‘pro-women’ nor ‘anti-men’. I’m just ‘Thumbs up for the six billion”
Because isn't that what we all want?
Caitlin Moran is a british born journalist and feminist writer. She was born in Wolverhampton in 1975 and is the eldest of 8 children. At the age of 11 her parents decided to home school her and she spent a lot of time reading books about feminism "mainly in an attempt to be able to prove to her brother, Eddie, that she was scientifically better than him".
“You can tell whether some misogynistic societal pressure is being exerted on women by calmly enquiring, ‘And are the men doing this, as well?’ If they aren’t, chances are you’re dealing with what we strident feminists refer to as ‘some total fucking bullshit’.”
At the age of 15 she wrote her first book "The Chronicles of Narmo" and at 16 started working for Melody Maker. How great is that! Her book "How to be a woman" is hugely popular and has won many awards. Described as part memoir, part rant and as someone who has read it i can concur with this. I think Caitlin is awesome because she is out there shouting about the inequalities that are still affecting women (small pants, brazilian waxing and porn) and i love the final quote from her:
Because isn't that what we all want?